This Girl’s Cookbook Of ‘Recipes You Absolutely Can’t F-ck Up’ Is Amazing

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By Cooking Panda

Fair warning, folks: If you are offended easily by profanity, you might want to skip out on reading this one.

This little sister is quickly cementing her way into my heart as a true American treasure, by putting together a collection of recipes entitled: ‘Recipes You Absolutely Can’t F*ck Up’ for her older brother Warren.

You have to give the girl credit: the book has a theme, and that theme is mockery; seldom a paragraph goes by without some kind of jab about Warren’s kitchen-woes. However, the cookbook is actually chock full of your favorite comfort foods, with genuine recipes.

Published by Imgur user tacopartyinyourmouth, the cookbook is swimming with curse words and clever little one-liners that help coach Warren in the kitchen.

After a foreword explaining cast iron pan etiquette — “Go wild and enjoy yourself, just don’t burn down the house in the process. Merry Christmas, jerk face” — the first recipe of the book appears: “Chicken soup so simple a caveman can do it.”

Luckily, the cookbook includes a friendly little disclaimer: “Unless you’re so dumb you couldn’t pour water out of a boot with instructions on the heel, then you’re sh*t out of luck.”

According to Metro, the cookbook includes the following recipes:

  • Chicken soup so simple a caveman can do it
  • Leftover chicken salad so your lazy ass can make two meals at once
  • Shepherd’s pie that we all know will be eaten in one sitting
  • Swedish meat (space)balls
  • Indian chicken curry (not the ‘night on the toilet’ kind)
  • Meatloaf

  • Cream cheese spaghetti bake
  • Not so Kentucky Fried Chicken
  • Teriyaki chicken
  • Beef Stroganoff
  • Loaded baked potato soup (yum?)
  • Honey soy pork chops

Pretty impressive, no?

Imgur users were quick to compliment her laminated sheets (“So he can’t spill sh*t and f*ck up the recipes. Nice touch,’ commented one user) and have been asking tacopartyinyourmouth if she plans on publishing a legitimate cookbook any time soon. At any rate, you can access all of her recipes on her Google Doc.

Would you buy her book in print? 

Source: Metro / Photo credits: sebiro.tailor/Flickr, tacopartyinyourmouth/Imgur via Metro

Tags: cookbook, funny, imgur, profanity, recipes
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There Is Now A Cookbook Dedicated To Brad Pitt’s On-Screen Eating (Video)

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By Cooking Panda

Pumpkin pasties and cauldron cakes incited a Harry Potter cookbook. Drake’s pun-worthy lyrics sparked a compilation titled If You’re Eating This It’s Too Late. But it’s high time the culinary escapades of one Hollywood icon roused the recipe boxes of adoring fans, once and for all. 

Long Prawn Cookbooks, a company compiling edible ideas inspired by pop culture, is on it. On sale now is their cookbook honoring the magnificent masticating of an actor who has, for the last 40 years, captured our hearts with his impeccable consumption of delights such as pot roast, prison gruel and peaches.

He’s Brad Pitt, and it’s Fat Brad-The Cookbook, available now for $24.99.

The creators at Long Prawn were foremost inspired by Pitt’s frequent on-screen eating (video below) — which is in fact so frequent that Vulture made a list of everything the actor has eaten in movies, ever. But they noticed something more interesting: “the brilliant disparity” between Pitt’s consumption of less than healthy foods and his “god-like” body, they told reporters at It’s Nice That.

Ah, there’s certainly nothing like the juxtaposition of fatty food with a chiseled jaw to ignite a cookbook writer’s creative flow.

The 52-page book was tested by actual chefs and features artistically chaotic photography by Ben Clement. Dishes include Game Bird with Taters and Guinness Gravy and Bellagio Shrimp Cocktail, odes to Pitt’s performances in Snatch and Ocean’s 11, respectively.

Brad Pitt himself had absolutely nothing to do with the creation of the book, but based on his exemplary on-screen eating, we think he’d be into it.

You probably feel like watching Pitt’s powerful jaws devour delicious foods right now, so below is a video compilation of just that.

Source: It's Nice That / Photo credit: Long Prawn

Tags: brad pitt, cookbook
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In Prison, Top Ramen Is Worth More Than Cigarettes

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By Cooking Panda

Ramen Noodles have become a staple food in American prisons. Where many inmates used to make trades with tobacco, stamps or envelopes, they now trade with soup as their form of currency. 

This new development occurs as a result of poor quality foods being served in prisons today. According to a report by Michael Gibson-Light, a doctoral candidate in the University of Arizona’s school of sociology, food regulations have not kept pace with the rise in prison populations since 1982. Where inmates used to get three hot meals a day, they’ve been decreased to two hot meals and one cold meal, and only two meals on weekend days.

As Ramen is high in calories, it has become a normal way for populations to get the energy they need to make it through the day. NPR reports that one inmate, Gustavo “Goose” Alvarez, who was in prison for a decade at the California Institute for Men in Chino, has written a Ramen recipe book based on his experience. The book is entitled “Prison Ramen, Recipes and Stories from Behind Bars.”

Alvarez was inspired to write this book by a race riot in 2009. In his interview with The Guardian he described the riot as a standoff between Hispanics and African-Americans, and it was settled over Ramen. An older inmate encouraged everyone to settle down and eat, and what was a riot became a group feast. This just goes to prove anything can be solved with food.

Some of the favored recipes include “teriyaki,” which is made by mixing soy sauce with strawberry jam, “Ramen Tamale,” a mixture of Ramen, Doritos and canned pork and beans, and “dirty Ramen,” which includes Vienna sausages, green beans and carrots.

Sources: The Guardian, NPR / Photo credit: Suzette/Flickr

Tags: cookbook, Prison Currency, Ramen Noodles
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This Guy Wants To Publish A Drake-Themed Cookbook

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By Cooking Panda

If you’re reading this, it’s not too late to help fund a Kickstarter project for an unofficial Drake cookbook.

Atlanta resident and Drake fan Ben Devore needs to raise $20,000 more by August 17, for his dream to come true.

“If you’re like most people, then food and Drake are two of your favorite things,” his Kickstarter description reads. “With this project, I’m aiming to combine those interests into a collection of unique and delicious Drake-themed recipes sure to impress even the biggest music and culinary buffs.”

His inspiration for the book came about, he wrote, as he was whisking an egg wash while listening to Drake’s “10 Bands” — specifically, the lyric, “…in the Six cooking with the wrist motion.”

Devore’s proposed cookbook promises to include recipes for breakfast, lunch, dinner, appetizers, desserts and drinks. The title of each dish is a nod to a Drake hit. Think “Back to Baby Back Ribs” and “Hotline Wings.”

My personal suggestions include “Pop(corn) Style Shrimp,” “Too Good Tacos,” “Best Brownies I Ever Had” and, of course, “Pound Cake.” I trust Devore has hit at least one of these marks.

Drake’s days as an actor on Degrassi aren’t neglected, either; the book includes instructions for “DeGrassi-Fed Burgers.”

Devore has a full-time job at an advertising agency, but he said his book will deliver not only delicious recipes, but top-notch photography and “extremely entertaining hip-hop puns and references,” as well.

The project, titled If You’re Eating This It’s Too Late, has received just $205 of its needed $25,000. He hopes to release the book by the fall of 2017. Nevertheless, Chef Devore seems optimistic online.

“I believe the estimated completion date gives me plenty of time to complete the project, but if there are delays I will be sure to maintain full transparency with my backers through regular updates,” he wrote.

Much of his transparency comes from his Instagram account, @whisk_god (a reference to “6 God”, which he uses to document the project). The latest video, posted three weeks ago, looks promising, featuring a bubbling strawberry reduction.

Unofficial "Whisk God" logo #whiskgod #ifyoureeatingthisitstoolate

A photo posted by @whisk_god on

Pledging at least $15 will get you a “Whisk God” sticker. Give $25 and you’ll get your name listed in the book’s “Special Thanks” section. The rewards will, you guessed it, only improve with larger donations.

Click here to donate and watch Devore’s video explaining the project.

Source: Kickstarter / Photo credit: ReconEG/Reddit

Tags: cookbook, drake, Kickstarter
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Tom Brady Proves He Can Deflate Wallets As Well As Footballs

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By Cooking Panda

It’s hard to look at NFL quarterback Tom Brady’s perfect life and not be at least a little bit jealous. Not only has the sports superstar won four Super Bowls, but he is also married to the world’s highest paid supermodel, Gisele Bundchen.

Even so, it’s a little hard to believe that the first printing of Brady’s new $200 cookbook, the “TB12 Nutrition Manual” has already sold out. While the quarterback has been very vocal about his strict diet in recent months, we can’t say it sounds like something we’d like to try—especially for $200.

If the interviews are to be believed, the list of foods that Brady doesn’t eat far outnumbers the list of ingredients he does consume. He avoids everything from olive oil to tomatoes—foods that us mere mortals consider healthy—and has even been quoted as saying that he doesn’t think frosted flakes count as food.

“The TB12 Nutrition Manual” not only follows the same food rules that Brady himself adheres to in real life, but also features a cover made from real wood. While the cookbook includes only 89 recipes to date, the quarterback has promised that new recipes will become available to customers as soon as they’re developed.

Despite our personal skepticism, however, Brady fans are scooping up the nutrition manual faster than the publisher can print them. While the initial batch has already sold out, never fear—Brady’s website is already accepting preorders for the next batch of the “TB12 Nutrition Manual.” If you’ve got $200 to spare and an interest in winning national sports championships (or just the occasional neighborhood pick-up game), why not give it a try?

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Sources: EaterBorn Fitness / Photo credit: TB12

Tags: cookbook, Nutrition, TB12, Tom Brady
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We Can’t Wait For Anthony Bourdain’s Cookbook

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By Cooking Panda

Bad boy chef extraordinaire Anthony Bourdain is releasing his first cookbook in 10 years, and we couldn’t be more thrilled.

“Appetites” will debut on shelves on Oct. 25 this year, and you can even preorder the title on Amazon, according to Pop Sugar.

Here’s what the cover looks like:

Look familiar? That’s right – the cover was designed by legendary artist Ralph Steadman, best known for producing art for Hunter S. Thompson.

Bordain has such a diverse palate – have you seen all the food he has eaten on his travel shows over the years? What kind of recipes are going to be in the book?

Well, we have an idea:

“Appetites boils down 40 plus years of professional cooking and world traveling to a tight repertoire of personal favorites — dishes that everyone should (at least in Mr. Bourdain’s opinion) know how to cook,” the press release said, according to Eater.

A few years ago, Bourdain would travel more than 200 days out of the year, the press release says. But now that the celebrity chef and traveler, who is raising a young daughter, has settled down a little bit, he has started entertaining from home more and more.

“Years of prep lists and the hyper-organization necessary for a restaurant kitchen however, have caused him, in his words, to have ‘morphed into a psychotic, anally retentive, bad-tempered Ina Garten,'” the press release explains. “The result is a home cooking, home entertaining cookbook like no other. Personal favorites from home and from his travels, translated into an effective battle plan that will help you terrify your guests with your breathtaking efficiency.”

If, like us, you are so excited for this cookbook that you can’t stand it, we suggest checking out Bourdain’s other works, starting with his famous memoir, “Kitchen Confidential,” in the meantime.

Sources: Pop Sugar, Eater / Photo Credit: Instagram (2)

Tags: Anthony Bourdain, Anthony Bourdain cookbook, Appetites, celebrity cookbook, cookbook
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