He ran into my knife.
He ran into my knife ten times.
No, just kidding. We're not listening to the "Chicago" soundtrack; we're just shocked and completely bewildered that something this crazy could actually happen.
You see, when Dianne Margaret Clayton, 34, and her boyfriend, Simon Hill, were over at Clayton's friend's house together, they were apparently both very hungry. Not just hungry, in fact, but hangry, because an argument broke out. Apparently, Clayton thought that Hill had eaten all of the homemade french fries at the friend's house, according to Metro.
Now, we all know that french fries are delicious and therefore sacred. Many consider them a sharing type of finger food, but that should never be assumed. Evidently, Hill had failed to ensure that he was allowed to consume all of the french fries, because when Clayton discovered that all of the crispy, addictive potatoes were gone, she completely went wild and stabbed Hill in his shoulder with a kitchen knife.
Clayton was jailed for 26 weeks on Jan. 8 after she admitted to the assault.
"Simon Hill ate them all and that caused her to get angry," said Parveen Akhtar, the prosecutor for the case, according to Metro. "She was seen to slap him across the face before leaving the room. She picked up a knife in the kitchen and then stabbed him, causing a superficial injury.
"She returned the following morning and Mr Hill suffered injuries to his hands."
Richard Prew, defense attorney, said that there had been no previous domestic incidents between the two, and that Hill did not wish to file a complaint against Clayton due to their previous supportive and enjoyable relationship.
However, Clayton did not recall much about the actual night in question, considering she had been drinking alcohol, and has been ordered to pay $140 for a victim surcharge on release.
Keep your fries close but your good sense closer, fam!